kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
