Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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