Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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