i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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