I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
