I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
