3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
