Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Randomize