Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
