Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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