That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
