Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
