i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
