fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
