I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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