he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
