So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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