i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
