Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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