May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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