its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
