i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
