Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
