i need an iv and a liver transplant
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
