me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize