he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
