Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
