Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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