Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
operation have a gay friend backfired
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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