what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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