And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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