I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
