Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
