Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
