In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize