Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
