Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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