ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That's how pantless uber rides happen
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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