the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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