Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
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