I'm eating all of the evidence.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
