and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
