i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
