if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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