ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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