The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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