She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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