If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
