I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
