don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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