Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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