I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
