just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
