My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize