I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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