What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
