He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
