508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
