Sry I called you an 8
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
